Valentine’s Day is a holiday that has always irritated me. The biggest cause of my irritation is so simple, yet so nerving and that is the mispronunciation of the word Valentine’s. I would just like to point out that there is no M in Valentine. There is, however, an N. Let’s say it together.. ValenTINE.
Now that we got that out of the way 🙂
So Saul and I had the “talk” yesterday on the way to work. He asked if we should make plans to celebrate and I respond with a simple no. I honestly just don’t have the patience to fight the crowds on holidays such as this.
Although I have never been “Team Valentine,” there were times when I enjoyed the holiday. Most of this time was spent in elementary school making mailboxes out of construction paper and passing out Valentine’s cards with a sucker attached that tasted like shit. Face it, none of those Valentine’s themed suckers ever tasted good.
As an adult, I have grown to dislike the holiday quite a bit, honestly. I am not a fan of flowers, I don’t like random things being delivered to my job, and I don’t like making a big deal out of love just because the day is February 14th. I often complained in my earlier years of marriage about Saul not being a romantic. He has never been one to surprise me with expensive gifts or write me long love letters on a whim. Every time I would complain he would always respond by saying,
“Babe, if I did those things for you all the time, then they would start to not mean anything when I did them.”
I would always roll my eyes at this response and think he was just making excuses to not show me love. It wasn’t until our relationship really began to deepen that I understood where he was coming from. At the time when I felt he wasn’t being romantic enough, it wasn’t romanticism I was looking for. It was reassurance. Reassurance that he loved me. Reassurance that he still wanted to be with me. Reassurance that our relationship would survive the next big blow up that would take place the following week.
In our first years of marriage, when the question of whether or not to celebrate Valentine’s day came up in conversation, I would respond with the same simple no. But deep down I wanted to celebrate. I needed to. I would hope that big bouquet of red roses being delivered to the office was for me. I would hope a package wrapped in kissed paper was waiting for me at home. I would hope a box of my favorite chocolate was laying on my pillow for my indulgence. None of this every happened and more times than not we would fight about it.
Now, nearly 7 years later, I can respond with a simple no and know deep down in the depths of my soul I mean it. I know that our relationship is stronger than ever. I know without a doubt that I hold his heart in my hands. I know that forever is now a reality for us and not just a phrase we toss back and forth because it sounds good. I know that I do not need Valentine’s Day to reassure myself of the love we share.
The point of my rambling today is not to discourage anyone from celebrating. If this is a day you both truly enjoy, the by all means, go for it. But don’t fall into the trap that society has laid out for us all. Look inside and decide for yourself if you are celebrating for the two of you or are you celebrating because you feel you have to or need to. Love doesn’t have to be heavy guys. It doesn’t have to be stressful. You don’t have to choose the perfect card or buy the most expensive gift. Love is beautiful in its simplest form and that is when two people truly love one another. That, my friends, is the most important factor of all.