Find Your Happiness
If we all take a moment to be completely honest, I think we would all agree that life is just plain hard sometimes. No matter what background you come from, how easy of a childhood you had, how great your job is, sometimes life just sucks.
My life has had its fair share of ups and down and this emotional roller coaster can make it very difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Over time, I’ve learned what it takes for me to find happiness through the rough times. Sometimes it’s about my state of mind and sometimes its actions I can take to help better my situation.
Here are a few steps that I take to keep my focus in life and to find my happiness through the down times.
I Find Happiness By Cutting Excess Spending:
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying money can’t buy happiness. But do you really believe that?
I can tell you honestly that I do.
Overspending. We all do it to some degree. Makeup is my weakness and I buy a lot of it. Every time new makeup collections launch I tell myself how much I don’t need to buy it, but I always do.
My husband and I have both been guilty of trying to find happiness the materialistic way. We’ve both spent money on things we didn’t need because we thought it would fill a void.
We’ve never overspent to the point where it’s affected our ability to pay bills, but that doesn’t make it okay.
Retail therapy is a great way to drown out life and have a good time for a short while. I buy things I think will help me find happiness. But they don’t.
Sure, it feels good in the moment. But it doesn’t help my long-term situation. Spending money doesn’t solve my problems.
In fact, excess spending can put even more stress on the situation. Especially if your problems stem from financial trouble.
I’ve been unhappy in life to the point where I just want to focus on anything other than my feelings and there’s a stigma around thinking that the more you buy, the happier you’ll be.
It just isn’t the case. If you can relate to this at all, I encourage you to cut down on the excess spending. Cut out the purchases that aren’t necessary. Not only will it alleviate financial stress, but it will also force you to deal with your problems head on and not avoid them.
Don’t let your happiness be built upon possessions. One day you may wake up and lose it all and it’s going to be the relationships you’ve built with family, friends, spouses, children, and yourself that pull you through to the other side.
I Find Happiness By Staying True To Myself:
Ah, the infamous “be yourself” talk. We’ve all heard it. We’ve all had this lecture in our teens. But this golden rule doesn’t just apply to adolescents. It applies to you, too.
Peer pressure can be a bitch sometimes, especially if you don’t go with the crowd. As much as society likes to say they accept everyone, they don’t for the most part. People don’t like different.
The stereotypical life for young people in their early 20’s never appealed to me. My 21st birthday was spent with friends at a nice restaurant, I had ¼ of a blueberry mojito and went home and went to bed. I actually turned down my birthday shot when a friend bought a round of shots for everyone.
Drinking has never really interested me. I don’t have a problem drinking and don’t care if others do drink around me, but it isn’t really my thing.
I’m not saying I never drink, because I do. But I never went through the “party life” stage. I’m more the Netflix and Chill type.
I’ve also never been someone who has a ton of friends at any given time. I have my close circle and that’s good enough for me.
Now this may be because I’ve been married since I was 19 years old, so you combine my disinterest for partying with my married status and I suppose I’m just not that interesting of a person.
Regardless, this doesn’t bother me and never has. Sure, I’ve felt pressured to party while out with friends. I’ve been the one others comment about being boring because I’m the only one not really getting drunk, but really, I couldn’t care less.
It just isn’t what I want to do. Again, I have no problem with people who drink and I’m around friends who get drunk and it doesn’t bother me. If I don’t feel like getting drunk, I don’t.
The lesson here is to know what you want and stick to it. Forget peer pressure. If people are peer pressuring you to do something you don’t want to do, you shouldn’t be hanging around them anyway.
My friends understand that sometimes I drink and sometimes I don’t and if I tell them I don’t want to, they don’t push because our friendship is built upon respect and trust. This is true friendship.
Staying true to who you are is an important step to finding your happiness. If you are constantly trying to conform to what other people want from you or expect of you, you will never be able to truly be happy because you won’t be live YOUR life. You’ll be living the life other’s want you to live and that’s shit.
Be you no matter who likes it or who accepts it. Pay attention to how you want situations to play out and own your role.
I Find My Happiness By Sometimes Putting Myself First:
Selflessness is a very admirable quality, but sometimes when it comes to finding your happiness, you have to be able to put your needs first.
I used to be the ultimate people pleaser. I was always trying to keep the peace between everyone and keep everyone in a happy and comfortable environment.
This behavior stressed me out so much to the point I was diagnosed with an ulcer at the age of 20. I can still hear my conversation with the doctor.
Doctor: Do you drink excessively?
Doctor: Do you smoke?
Doctor: Then you really need to find a way to calm down.
My ulcer was stress-induced, and my doctor was surprised to see my condition at my young age.
My problem was, I just couldn’t be honest with myself or others. It was more comfortable for me to avoid confrontation and just go with the flow.
This sounds like a great outlook to have, but I was really doing serious damage to my body. Instead of dealing with issues, I was bottling everything up and the stress just kept piling and piling.
My mother and I did not have a good relationship at the time. I wasn’t honest with her about how I felt because I was afraid of her response or because I didn’t want to hurt her. Ultimately, I ended up doing some very heavy damage to myself because I was so focused on her feelings, I left myself and my safety on the back burner.
Finally, when my ulcer hit I knew I had to make a change. My heavy emotional distress was causing me physical harm and I knew I was the only one who could stop it.
I stopped caring so much about other people and I stopped letting them take advantage of my kindness. I started putting my foot down and speaking the truth, even if they didn’t like it.
I can’t even tell you what a difference this made in my overall mindset and my health.
Sometimes putting yourself first is the only way you can find your true happiness. You can’t live
If you are struggling with wanting to make everyone else happy, think about what it will take to make yourself happy first. Sometimes this will allow you to compromise and sometimes you have to shift the situation completely.
Follow your heart and your mind and trust yourself to make the right decisions. You have to put yourself first and focus on your own happiness before you can make anyone else happy.
I Find Happiness By Allowing Myself To Take Risks:
I used to be the worst at living life on the edge. Even the word risk gave my anxiety. I was born a rule follower and everything I did had to be by the book.
I took a job working for a global corporation at the age of 19 and worked my ass off with this company for 5 years before I was laid off.
I bought my first house at the age of 21 years old, which is almost unheard of. I thrived on being ahead of the game and ahead of others in my age bracket. I wanted success and I was willing to work as hard as I had to to achieve it as soon as possible.
When the layoff happened, I didn’t just lose my job. I lost my career, my life plan, my future. Or at least that’s how it felt.
Here I was, over working myself for years for a company who saw me as just a number. I was devastated, heartbroken even. I cried for weeks thinking my who future was messed up.
Then I was forced to stop feeling sorry for myself and start searching for a new job. I applied everywhere, attended interview after interview and received 3 job offers.
I realized in this moment that my job was not my entire life and in the 5 years I spent dedicating myself whole-heartedly to a company who didn’t give a shit about my efforts, I had missed out on what makes life so beautiful, the experience.
My early 20’s wasn’t spent traveling, they were spent working, buying a house, living the married life. I was so anxious to get life started that I was missing out on the best parts of it because I felt the risk was too high.
My husband and I finally looked at each other one day and had a conversation about what our next chapter would be and what our goals would become. They no longer included us busting our asses to try and make it, but instead, included focusing our attention on each other and experiencing everything life had to offer together.
I’m not here to tell you not to work hard and to throw your life away. What I’m telling you is not spend every waking moment trying to advance. Take the time to allow yourself to take risks in life and experience all life has to offer.
You can’t go through life afraid to make the wrong decision. Be okay with making mistakes, because they will happen and when they do, just roll with it.
At this point in my life, I know that no matter what happens to me, my husband and I will get through it together. I’m not afraid to take that next big risk, because I don’t want my fear to get in the way of an amazing opportunity.
I’m encouraging you to be smart, but don’t always play it safe. Be prepared for the worst but allow yourself to live a little. Otherwise, what’s the point of living at all?
If you can relate and have ideas on how we can better ourselves and find happiness through this rollercoaster called life, comment down below and share with us!